your mind made up

I know its been a while. Trust me, I’ve got a lot on my mind and many stories to share with you friends. So here’s a little something to give you a good laugh this weekend…

Though I didn’t want this space to be only about my love life, it’s going to have to do for now. This week, quite a few dating stories surfaced. I’ll tell you about just one, to get us reacquainted. Let’s talk about Guy #1 I met on Facebook Dating.

What’s Facebook dating you ask? We all have it, just hit the menu button and there it is under your profile…the cute little ❤ that says “dating” (you’re welcome).

Guy #1: 39 years old, good job, divorced, no kids. We get to talking despite me looking at him sideways from the very beginning – he commented “I like your curves” in one of my profile pictures, but I brushed that under the rug. I know what I look like, and apparently my body type makes some guys say what they’re thinking out loud…I’m not offended by one comment, but I definitely proceed with some caution.

So, we’re writing back and forth to each other, conversation flowing very easily this Sunday – mostly talking about football. We exchange phone numbers, so now we’re texting. He sends me a picture of himself and asks for one of me; “ok whatever” I think to myself, and send one that I took a few nights before with my girlfriend. He says “U look nice, looks like u have a nice looking body and all ;)” I say “thanks” and move on.

We have a little more small talk the next day. He then asks if I have Facebook…strange right? Of course I do, considering that’s how we met. He asks for my name and I turn him down; so what if I have 651 friends, that felt too personal to give to a perfect stranger. Naturally I give him my IG info instead.

Some time passes, and he texts me a screenshot of a video I posted in 2017 from an aerial class I used to take. The image he captured from the video is of me leaning back into the hammock, legs spread. He says “wow baby is that u?” ::barf::

He continues:

“u have a sexy body oh man”

“I never usually get that lucky, I end up meeting girls who are overweight don’t look like their pic, I feel with u I wouldn’t have to worry about that lol I like some curves but not too much lol”

“so how are u :)”

“I know that was very over the top actually”

“I’m sorry if u get weirded out by that, I was just being honest about what I have encountered”

Before I continue, let’s have a moment of silence for this guy’s dignity.

After about 3 hours I finally respond:

“Hey! I’m not weirded out by your honesty…I’m an upfront person so I can appreciate that. I do think you’ve commented a little too much on my body for my liking…I don’t even know you yet. So don’t lay it on so much”

To this, he responds:

“I’m gonna be 100% honest, here, I am what I call a dating expert, I know all the ins and outs, I know reactions I’m 39 I know it all, I feel like I understand women too much to get into, Listen deep down I know I blew my shot and I know for a fact that I sorta pushed u away so before u do it I will do it, best of luck to u”

Me: “Ok. Thanks, you too”

Him: “See I knew it, guess what I beat u to it”

Me: “Lol! Guess you win”

Him: “Cause I know how to outsmart women. Ur in NJ I’m in NY who would we be fooling ok I got the hint BYE”

That my friends, is just one of four gems from this past week. Yes, I’m hoping to find my match; do I think he’s online? Maybe. I’m not too worried about it though…makes for great stories! I’ll keep them coming.